Davening at graves


What is the deal with visiting relatives’ graves ? Does it make a difference if it is within the year of death or not ?
I am going to israel in a few weeks and I’d love to visit my grandmother’s kever , I just have heard that it’s not necessarily the greatest thing to do.


Better not to go.


Please elaborate on the Rav’s position about visiting graves of rabbis and relatives.


This is the position. Better not to go to the cemetery. If I recall correctly, graves of tzadikim are ok. But this question was regarding visiting relatives. I’ll ask the Rav later today bl"n


Thanks. I am wondering about his reasoning.


The Rabbi isn’t pro going to visit graves, as a general rule. A special circumstance may be different.


In my family, we traditionally go to the grave of a deceased spouse, parent, sibling or child on or near the Yahrzeit. I would be very interested to learn what the thinking/reasoning or halachik consideration about not going would be.

Thank you


My beloved daughter died last October in an accident. I go to her grave every Friday to say the prayers I used to say over her every Shabbos. It gives me great comfort in this difficult time Does that mean I need to stop doing it?


On this site we give generalized answers.

As a general rule Rabbi Abadi feels that the cemetery is not a place that should be going. And of course he has his sources and reasons.

When one asks the Rabbi a personal question they get a personal answer.

If one feels that their circumstance is unique, I recommend contacting Rabbi Abadi directly.


Vilna Gaon was also not a fan.